Getting old!

(This was written in 2012, not long before the BIG birthday!)

As I approach my 60th birthday (OK, as I write it is still 8 months away!) the subject of my mortality starts to appear in my thoughts. My mother lived until she was 86, but my father only lived till he was 67, so I am not sure how to calculate my possible life expectancy from that! The thought that I may only have as little as 7 years left, assuming I last as long as my Dad, is quite frightening, but equally living another 25 years and ending up infirm and unable to look after myself is equally unattractive. (My Mum lived alone and looked after herself right until she went into hospital for the last time, so there is family history of fortitude!)

But then again, what is old? When I was a boy life expectancy was probably around retirement age, and 70 was considered a “good age”, whereas now UK life expectancy for men is over 77 years (and over 81 for women). If you live in Swaziland it is around 32 years for both sexes, mainly due to the prevalence of Aids there, and I understand that Zimbabwe used to have life expectancy of 62 years (under Colonial rule) but this is now reduced to around 40 years.

Is there an age when you suddenly wake up and are physically old? My body will not do many of the things I could do 30 years ago – like run very far (though I was never much of a long-distance runner) – though my brain has not quite accepted that premise yet. I get short of breath under exertion, but that, I am sure, is more to do with my current body shape than anything age-related, and I do recover fairly quickly. My mind is, I think, as sharp as it ever was, and I still enjoy looking at pretty “girls” as much as I ever did (though my taste in women has not aged with me – I still fancy the same age range as I did when I was 25, and I hasten to add here that I am not talking jail-bait, though I have even less chance now of getting close to them as I did back then!).

There is no “life manual” about how we should behave and think at 30, 40, 50 and so on, so I do not know if I am “odd” or “normal” in this respect, or whether men are different from women as they age. Do women age gracefully (OK, I know some don’t which is why the term Cougar was invented, but old men have been chasing young skirt forever too) mentally, and set their sights on more suitable partners as they get older, or do they like me, just see men their age as, well, “older men”!

I am not going to make a “bucket list” (for the uninformed this is a list of things to do before “you kick the bucket”!) as I do not want to live the rest of my life regretting things I haven’t done – I do not regret anything I have done, so do not want to worry about things I did not get a chance to do. I am still visiting new places, and trying new things, and will continue to do so as the opportunities arise, but will not get stressed out if I do not manage to achieve anything else in my life. All the experiences I have had so far in my life, good or bad, have moulded me into the person I am today, and it is no use worrying about missed opportunities, or wrong decisions made, as you cannot change the past, only learn for the future. But I am still at heart, and in my head, a young man in my twenties…