Being ill abroad - part 4

 So much has happened since my last post, but so little progress has been made! Prior to going to the cancer specialist hospital, IREN, I had been attending private consultations and clinics, and all the various test results I had to collect and take along to the next consult, but at IREN it is all done "in-house" and the results sent straight to the consultant, so never get to see the reports. When I went back for the biopsy result the surgeon told me it was not very conclusive, but it now appeared to be a Chondrosarcoma, which is a malignant, cancerous tumour, which does not respond to therapy, but needs removing surgically.

After biopsy stitches removed

First off I needed another surgical risk assessment, including blood tests, chest x-ray, ECG, and before surgery I would also need another negative Covid test! The various tests were programmed, and as some had to be done "fasting" could only be done the following day, and then when the results were all in, I had to see a doctor for his assessment, and then return for another consult with the surgeon! This process took about 10 days and then the surgeon said I would need admitting for the surgery, so I had to go to a "window" where I would be allocated a date and bed for admission. The nurse there, said there were no beds immediately available, and it would probably be 3-4 weeks before I could be admitted, and would need the Covid test first, but only once a bed was allocated!! So I should wait for a call. I would need a CT scan, and the Covid test, which I could get once they called me in, so I was given a request form for these. I was also given a list of personal items I needed to bring along, which included a set of sheets.

4 days later I get a call saying I should come in for some "pre-op checks" and that I should report to "hospital admissions". She spoke so fast I had trouble following her and asked if she could send me the details in a message, but she simply said "December 7, 7.30.There was a security guard on the door so I explained my situation, and he said I should wait until I was called, and so I waited for 4 hours! Eventually a male nurse appeared so I asked how much longer it might be, and he looked at the paperwork I had and told me I should have reported back to the "window" first when I arrived! I made my way there and knocked on the glass, and eventually it was opened - the nurse said she didn't think I was coming, and there were no longer any beds available! This was Wednesday, and she said my surgery was scheduled for the Saturday, but they would call me later when a bed was available, and I should report to her on arrival. I did get my Covid test done, but not the CT scan, as she said if a bed did not become available they did not want me to go through the expense of that scan right now.

Thursday I went out to get my laundry done and they called me, saying I could come in and get the CT scan, so I rushed home, then grabbed a taxi to the hospital. Reported to her window and was told to go and get the CT scan done, so paid and then went to the Imaging Department, I went to admissions first and they told me it could only be done tomorrow! So back to the "window" and she came with me and explained it had to be today, so I was rushed in for my scan, then back to her window. She now gave me a list of supplies I needed, but said I need to go to hospital admission first to see if that was all that was needed, and then off to the pharmacy to get that digitised, then to cashier to pay, then back to pharmacy to collect. Some items were not available, meaning I had to go and find them elsewhere, and at this moment the nurse explains that I am actually being admitted today! Two days before surgery??

This means that I have to go home to collect my belongings, as well as finding the missing items at another pharmacy. I grabbed a taxi and explained my dilemma, so first we try the pharmacy across from the hospital, and I find a few of the items, then into the centre of Trujillo, where I eventually find the rest, and then home! I have to collect my laundry, so catch a quick bite to eat for lunch first, get my things together, and get a taxi back to the hospital, reporting back to the window, where she gives me an invoice for "hospital admission" I have to pay before going to hospitalisation!

Finally I am shown to a bed, where a nurse helps me put my sheets on it, but there is no pillow - I should have brought my own (they did not tell me!), and I can now breathe easily. It is Thursday afternoon, with surgery scheduled for Saturday, and I have no idea what I will be doing until then!

Storing my bike in Peru when I return to Brazil

 I have made a separate page about "My Bikes" (link here My bikes) but the only way I could "add" posts to that page was by commenting (there may be another way, but that is beyond my skillset). I added a comment last year about how Oli, my Ronco Demolition, had been abused in my absence and how it had cost a lot to get repaired. I had tried to get to Trujillo to a mechanic there, but the logistics of that proved difficult, and a local motorcycle spares shop recommended a Venezuelan mechanic, who had set up shop at a street corner. Eventually he rebuilt the engine for me, and all appeared well.

I didn't use Oli much last year, mainly to get me back and forth to Trujillo for medical appointments as Chip was occupying most of my time, so never gave him a decent run, but he did appear to be running fine, and I had no real concerns. Towards the end of my stay I was considering where to leave him this time, as I was rather reluctant to go through the same drama again, and happened to notice that a mechanic's premises was open again. I had used this young man extensively in the past, but thought he had given up as I never saw any activity at his workshop, but stopped off for a chat. He had opened a second premises a short distance away, and had been working from there, but was running out of space so had returned. He offered to store Oli for me, and then prepare him for my return the following March.

Three weeks before I was due back I contacted him and asked him to give Oli the once over and prepare him for collection when I got back. However when I arrived he said there was a "noise" in the engine which concerned him, and though it was running he would like to investigate further. 4 days later the pandemic hit, everything shut down, and work ground to a halt!

I was under complete lockdown, due to my age, and for the next three months only "essential" workers were allowed to go to work, and people were only allowed out for food purchases, or medical reasons - and the mechanic was unable to work as most motor spares shops were also closed.

Early June some restrictions were lifted and he said he would be able to continue the repairs, but was till finding sourcing parts to be difficult as inter-provincial transport was still restricted to "essential services" only, predominantly food supplies. I did manage to see him at the end of June, and he told me that when he opened the engine he found some damage, and some issues that had not been resolved the previous year, specifically that the counterbalance was missing! It had clearly broken, and caused some "non-fatal" damage inside the crankcase, and never been replaced - apparently the engine will still run without it, but just runs a little rougher, with more vibration.

Crankcase, showing damage right of centre

These pieces were sitting at the bottom of the crankcase, but fortunately had not done any further damage

Oli, stripped and looking sad

Despite being told the engine had been rebuilt the previous year the mechanic said that many of the damaged parts implied this hadn't been the case, and Oli needed a new crankshaft, piston, connecting rod, clutch and, of course, the missing counterbalance! The damage to the crankcase was not severe enough to require replacement. I gave him a substantial advance to cover parts he needed to buy and left it with him - he also offered to re-paint Oli as corrosion was bad in places.

He contacted me a couple of weeks later and said he was having difficulty sourcing the counterbalance, but that the engine would run fine without it - it would just run a little rough due to increased vibration without the counterbalance - and he should have the bike ready soon, once he managed to get the paintwork done.

I was given a series of collection dates, each which came and went with no sign of completion - paint wasn't dry, there were some missing bolts, a new bearing was needed, gaskets couldn't be sourced, and so on - "nothing major"! Eventually I went round and found him there - he had been ill, but was now getting close, but had had to repaint everything as the varnish he had used had not dried, and caused the new paint to run, and was now waiting for everything to dry!

I was given a new collection date, but when I went round the pieces were still hanging like in the pictures. Now there was a new problem, or rather two - the tank had been sandblasted (all the frame had been) and because of corrosion this had revealed some pinhole leaks, and he was unable to find anyone who could repair it, so I would need a new tank, and also the wiring loom was a mess and needed replacing. This last one threw me as the Venezuelan mechanic had told me he had to replace the loom last year as it had burnt out, but clearly had done nothing of the sort! I was beginning to realise I had been well and truly had the previous year! More money for parts changed hands, and I was given a new collection date.

That, too, came and went, and I was given another - "Guaranteed, I give you my word, I need 7 - 10 more days!" On the tenth day, last Saturday, I went round, and was told it would be ready later that day, but I could collect it on the Monday. I tried contacting him before going round, just to make sure, but received no response, so walked round anyway - only to find out that he was closed until Tuesday (turned out it was his daughter's first birthday and was a big deal), but he did message me that evening apologising, and told me that today, Tuesday, he was going to Trujillo for the final part he needed - a bearing for the handlebars - and would message me as soon as Oli was ready!

It is now 9 months since I first made contact informing him about my return to Peru, and 5 months since I was so confident of getting Oli back that I renewed my SOAT (compulsory insurance). I am currently 2 months past the expiry of my tourist visa (but due to the pandemic and state of emergency here Immigration has allowed all over-stayers to remain until we can leave once the borders re-open), and have spent goodness knows how much on taxi fares into Trujillo for medical appointments, and still, as of this moment, do not know exactly when Oli and I will be reunited!

Being ill abroad - part 3

 When I had returned to my room there was another patient in there in the other bed, and a woman sitting on the sofa the other side of the room, Turned out it was her son who had appendix problems, and was awaiting surgery. I had been told to fast after 08.00, and by 19.00 I was feeling very hungry, and, though I had some water with me, had not even been given anything to drink. An orderly came in with a small jug of slightly yellow liquid with a straw in it, but told me it was very hot and I should allow it to cool - it tasted rather like hot water with lemon in it, and soon after I was brought some food. It was a chicken "soup" with vegetables and a chicken thigh in it, but only a spoon to eat it with - and was delicious, and very welcome!! I also got a visitor!! A friend here, who is a vet and married to a British lady, popped in - he works in the city, and brought a "get well" card drawn by his two young sons, and that was very nice!

The surgeon came to see me shortly afterwards and said he would come in the morning and discharge me if everything continued to look OK. During the night a nurse came in several times and checked blood pressure, temperature and so on, for both of us, and the father of the other young man had replaced the mother, and spent the night on the sofa! I didn't get much sleep, partly due to the discomfort of my shoulder, but also it was quite noisy in the corridor outside, so was really looking forwards to being discharged so I could go home! Breakfast was - well, I am not actually sure what it was. It was a very thin, runny porridge-like concoction, served in a mug, that had a slightly medicinal taste - but I was too hungry to really care that much.

The surgeon appeared, as promised, and gave me the all-clear to go home, and then showed me the amount I owed on his phone, so I had the strange experience of paying the surgeon in cash from my hospital bed! A short while later a nurse appeared with a trolley doing the morning rounds. She was dressed in a protective overall, which also covered her head, and had a mask and facial shield as well as gloves, but, very surprisingly, she did not change the gloves after tending to the other patient first, and then removing my cannula!! 

I was then allowed to get dressed and leave, but was given a prescription for antibiotics and pain relief (opiates!) and had to take my samples, which were in two flasks by my bed, downstairs to the lab for the biopsy! I had to pay for the biopsy, and was told I could collect the results the following week, and then waited by the pharmacy to collect my prescription. It was closed, but I was told they would be back in a few minutes, though after waiting for 40 decided to get my meds elsewhere. I was exhausted by the time I finally got home.

I was told that I should keep the dressing dry, so washing became a bit of a chore, especially hair washing, but fortunately the wound did not get infected - something the surgeon was concerned about due to my age and diabetes - and he changed the dressing after three days, for a smaller one, which did make life a little easier!

As soon as I got the biopsy results, which indicated that Chip, was indeed a benign lipoma, and nothing sinister, I emailed them to the surgeon, and he arranged an MRI scan for me, and the day before I had an appointment for him to remove the stitches, replacing the heavy dressing with a strip of tape.

This fell off after a couple of days revealing the scar!

The day of the MRI I had to fast for 8 hours prior to the 20.20 scan, so no food after midday, and I knew that it would probably be after 22.00 before my next meal - in fact it was 22.30 - so I was starving by the time I got back home and bought in a takeaway! The scan itself was OK, though the noise inside the MRI scanner almost drove me nuts! They stuffed some cotton-wool in my ears, but it just seemed interminable, though probably no more than 40 minutes in total, and I was eventually allowed to go home. I could have waited 40 minutes for my "plates" (X-ray type images) or collect them on Monday (this was Saturday), and they would email (or rather WhatsApp!) the "report" to me on Monday as well. I opted for returning on Monday as I was frazzled and so hungry by then.

After collecting my results the following Monday I forwarded the report to the surgeon, and expected him to ask me to bring in the images (and CD they had also provided). The MRI had also confirmed that Chip was a Lipoma, but called it a Fibrolipoma, a fibrous lipoma, which is hard (a lipoma being fatty is usually soft and pliable), and they also confirmed it was non-malignant. Instead of being asked to see him he arranged an appointment with a surgical oncologist, his professor, and I had to take the results along to him.

He took some notes, looked at the biopsy report, examined Chip, muttering about how hard it was, and how big it was, and then looked carefully at all 8 of the images (each one is a series of about 40 smaller images) - I had shown him the report on my phone as I did not receive a hard copy - and said he thought we might need another biopsy, as he was not convinced it was a lipoma! He said from the images it was very close to my ribcage at the back, and looked as though it was attached to, or underneath, my shoulder-blade, but that he would refer me to the Neoplastic (abnormal cell growth, including tumours and cancer) hospital for further investigation!!

5 days later I got my appointment for 09.00, armed with my biopsy and MRI results, and  I arrived more than 30 minutes early. I was directed to "admissions" and to the "new registrations" counter, where I was asked for "copies" of my paperwork! No-one had told me I needed copies, and do not have the facility at home to make them anyway, but they sent me away to get some done - informing me that one of the "security" guards would show me where to go. This turned out to be a pharmacy outside the gates, and across the Pan-American Highway, and they could "copy" but not "print" - the MRI report was on my phone! So at least I got a copy of the biopsy report, but they suggested I go back up to the roundabout a couple of hundred metres away, and maybe one of the businesses there could print my report - I would have to send it to them by WhatsApp and they could then print it!!

I was starting to panic as my appointment time had passed, so tried contacting both the referring surgeon, and the person I was supposed to meet, while trying to get someone to print my report, with no success!

Both surgeons responded quickly, and both said that the printed reports were not necessary as they could do it later! So back I went to the hospital, and security on the gate were waiting for me - and directed me to a different entrance, where my name was called and I was give a "pre-appointment" ticket and sent back to admissions! The first thing the desk asked was for my copies, so I explained the situation and showed them the messages with the two surgeons, and the receptionist then told me I could send the MRI report to the hospital WhatsApp number and she could print it!! Why couldn't they have done this in the first place??

While waiting for this to go through a doctor in scrubs appeared and addressed me by name, but reception told him I had to be processed first so he wandered off again! I was given a ticket I had to take to the cashier, in another building, and pay for the consult, then return to admissions, and was given a numbered ticket for my appointment. Apparently the 9.00 original time was not an actual appointment time, but a registration time - once processed patients are seen on a first-come-first-served basis - so I had to return to the same area the cashier was in and take a seat and wait to be called. I was number 15, but had no way of knowing how many were still ahead of me, as they called people by name, not number, so I just had to wait patiently - for what turned out to be over three hours!

When my name was finally called the lady surgeon (another surgical oncologist) asked me some historical questions (family history, previous medical history, etc.) then took a look at Chip. Again surprise was expressed at size and hardness (of Chip!!) and then she looked at 2 of the images briefly, before declaring that she was sceptical that it was a lipoma, or that it was benign, and that I needed another biopsy! She handed me three pieces of paper and told me I had to take them to the cashier, then collect some "supplies" from the pharmacy (there is one on the hospital) and then return.

The cashier told me I needed to take one to the pharmacy, but I paid for the other two, and then went to the pharmacy with the "prescription" for the biopsy supplies - it is quite normal here for you to have to provide the equipment needed for the surgery, like needles, scalpel blades, and even Lidocaine - and they produced a typed "bill" which I had to take back to the cashier to pay, before collecting the goods!

Back to the consulting rooms and a brief wait before a nurse came out, took the bag of supplies, and then led me into another consulting room, where the surgeon appeared and performed the biopsy. It was pretty straightforward, and painless, and in 10 days I have to go back for the results, and the circus will commence again!

Being ill abroad - part 2

 I should have followed this up sooner, but very little happened over the next 14 months! I struggled to get my blood sugars down while in Peru, and it was consult, more pills, blood test, consult more pills, and so on, with the biopsy not happening, so eventually I asked outright whether they thought it was malignant or cancerous, and though they wouldn't commit themselves, they did say it was "unlikely" at this stage - so I decided to leave it, as it was not causing too much bother at this stage.

Chip March 2019

Returning to Brazil September 2019 I decided to see if I could get it looked at, as by then it did appear to still be growing, and I decided to give "it" a name - so Chip was christened - "Chip on the shoulder", get it? The dentist in the little town I live in in Brazil rents out a consulting room to various medical professionals, and one was an Osteopath, so I booked an appointment, and he took a cursory look and said I needed a biopsy!!! He recommended a hospital in Salvador, some 400 kms away, but when I contacted them they told me they only dealt with SUS (Brazilian Health Service) patients. A friend suggested I contact a Day clinic in the next town, some 70 kms away, as they might be able to help, or at least suggest a viable alternative, so I made an appointment, and after a short wait was ushered into a doctor's consulting room. I explained that I had tried to get a biopsy done in Peru, but they were concerned about my sugar levels (which were still considered "too high"), but he asked me some health questions and agreed to do the biopsy himself - later that day!!

I had to wait a month for the results to come back from Salvador and went to see the doctor again, and the report (not that detailed) said it was a benign lipoma. He told me that he could not do the removal surgery there, and that there were no hospitals nearby that could either, so I would have to get it done in Salvador, the city 400 kms away, but that if Chip was not really bothering me then maybe I should leave it alone for now.

Chip March 2020

March 2020, biopsy scar visible

By the time I was due to return to Peru in March 2020, Chip was still growing and beginning to cause more discomfort. The "lump" itself was not painful, but was exerting pressure on surrounding muscles and nerves, and causing occasional pain in my right arm, but mostly was making it difficult to sleep comfortably. The place I stay in Peru is close to a very large city, with excellent medical facilities, so I resolved to get Chip treated properly upon my return.

Unfortunately 4 days after my arrival in Peru the Coronavirus pandemic caused a State of Emergency to be declared, and Peru went on lockdown! That meant that people were only allowed out for essential shopping, non-urgent operations were cancelled, and many clinics and hospitals refused to attend to high risk patients, and due to my age and diabetes I was one of those! So that meant I just had to try and sit things out, but Chip kept on growing!

May 12, 2020

Chip also starting becoming more painful - I couldn't carry my shopping in a backpack using my right shoulder, and even just walking at times resulted in pain down my right arm, and sleeping became much more difficult. I contacted some hospitals but unless it was cancer, they didn't want to know, and with the country still under the State of Emergency international borders were closed so I couldn't even return to the UK for treatment there!

August 13, 2020

Towards the end of September, when I should have been leaving Peru, some of the controls here had been relaxed, and some friends here found a surgeon who was prepared to consider surgery, so sent him the picture above. I had an online consult with him, and he sent me for blood tests, which returned incredibly high results, so much so that he immediately referred me to another doctor (a specialist in internal medicine), further blood tests, another online consult, and being prescribed insulin and other meds to bring my sugar levels down. I was also tested for liver, kidney and heart functions, as the sugar levels were high enough to cause further complications (they were all fine!). 

September 22, 2020

Throughout all this Chip continued to grow, and continued causing me problems, and the costs were mounting up! Public transport does not run into the centre of Trujillo, so I was having to use taxis to go for tests, and usually that meant a second trip the same day to collect the results! Eventually my blood sugar levels were low enough for the surgeon to consider surgery, but I needed a "surgical risk assessment" from the other doctor, requiring a "face-to-face" consult, and a whole raft of additional tests, which fortunately could be done at the clinic where he worked, though the blood work had to wait until the next day as had to be done "fasting" - no food for 8 hours - and then I had to wait a few days for a follow-up consult!!

I passed the assessment, though on the day of the blood tests my sugar levels were the highest they had been for days, and 30% higher than my own finger-prick test taken just 40 minutes before the full blood work! I then had my first face-to-face consult with the surgeon, so for the first time he actually "met" Chip, and was rather surprised at how "solid" it was. A lipoma is fatty tissue, so should be fairly squishy, but Chip is rather hard, and he voiced concerns that maybe it was not a Lipoma but something more sinister! He still agreed to attempt the surgery and it was scheduled for 4 days away, at yet another clinic! But first I needed a negative rapid Covid test!! I found out that the "rapid" test here takes 24 hours!

The following Monday I checked into the clinic and was shown to a room with two beds where I could undress, and put on a gown (with broken ties so I could not fasten it closed), and wait to be taken to surgery. I had to wear a mask all the time, and the staff all had masks and face shields, as well as vinyl gloves, but what surprised me was that I was placed on a gurney (hospital stretcher) and covered with sheets and a blanket, and taken up to surgical reception, where they transferred me onto another gurney, where I was covered with different sheets and blanket - but a patient waiting to be returned from surgery was then transferred onto my recently vacated gurney, covered with the same sheets they had used for me, and taken away!!

The surgery was to be done under local anaesthetic, and I was wheeled into surgery and they started work on my shoulder, but after about an hour the surgeon said that they could not remove Chip, as he was extremely solid, and appeared to have a blood supply, so possibly was a Liposarcoma, which is a cancerous tumour! But they had taken samples for biopsy and this would confirm things, so I was returned to the ward/bedroom, and kept in overnight!

Social distancing - I have been doing it most of my life!

Much is being made of "social distancing" at the moment due to the Covid-19 (coronavirus) pandemic - maintaining a safe distance between people to try and avoid the transmission of the disease. This is, in some cases, also combined with "self-isolation" where a suspected infected person, but showing no symptoms requiring hospitalisation, or someone suspected of being infected (returning form abroad, or from contact with an infected person) keeps themselves isolated even from their own families within the same building.
The government regulations vary a lot from country to country, from trusting the public to do the right thing (yeah, that is working in the UK!), to more draconian measures such as I am under in Peru - we have a daily curfew between 16.00 and 04.00, as well as Sunday, and the rest of the week, unless working in "essential" services (particular the food chain) you are only allowed out, and only one member of the household at a time, for food shopping, and medical needs, and we have to wear face masks in public. So no long walks, no drives in the countryside (you need a permit to use a vehicle, provided to "essential" drivers by the local authority), and not even outings for exercise. They even, for a short time, had "gender" days, where men were allowed out (for the essential things above) on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and women on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday - so effectively limiting our "available" out-of-the-house hours to 33 a week (the curfew then ended at 05.00)! Most people are accepting these as absolutely necessary to curtail the spread of the virus, though the police and army are still arresting around 300 a day in our Province for breaking the curfew, and so far in 5 weeks have arrested about 16,000!
All over the world we are reading stories about how people are coping, or not, under lockdown, and what you should do to cope - and many of these are coming from the countries with the least strict rules. In my case it has been pretty much life as usual! OK, I cannot go for my usual long daily walk along the seafront here, primarily for exercise, but I manage a slightly shortened version en route to the market or the shops 5-6 days a week. My usual routine - pre-lockdown - would have included rides on my motorbike, Oli, once or twice a week along the coast to deserted fishing spots, or longer rides, solo, to nearby towns in the Andes, or even journeys lasting a few days to further locations, again solo, and staying in single accommodation (as opposed to sharing a dorm room as many travellers do, for company as much as cost) - as well as trips to the supermarkets in Trujillo, 10 km away. But most of the time I spent alone, but not lonely - never lonely!
While in Brazil (for the other 6 months of the year) my routine was very similar, though I do have a garden surrounding my house, and live in a much more beautiful area, being in a National Park, so my bike trips tended to be shorter, and my walks less frequent (steep hill from my house into town!).
You see the pattern here? Solo/alone - both through choice - I have kept my social distance almost all my life, and so now when it is enforced it is not an issue. I was a very shy child, so much so that my parents worried about it - only telling me about this when I was in my late teens - and though I did have friends, I always (and this was repeated throughout my life, even as an adult) had a limited circle of close friends, rather than loads of acquaintances around me. In social situations I sat to one side, aloof and silent, though in later life I over-compensated by become garrulous, talking too much to fill the embarrassing gaps in conversations. Dating was a non-starter as such a shy person, and living in a small town in Mozambique during my "formative" years, where social conventions were very restrictive as well, meant I never really had a proper girlfriend during my teenage years.
We moved a lot when I was young - to Angola, and later Mozambique, and boarding school in what was Rhodesia - then as an adult I started working in Beira, Mozambique, after one year moved to Johannesburg, South Africa, then a year later to Durban, where I stayed for 3 years. This meant that I never had "life-long" friends, always moving on and leaving people behind, years before social media meant we could keep in touch, so maybe I developed a mechanism where being on my own was the norm, and the safest place to be. After I returned to the UK at 25 I then spent the next 30 years in Norfolk, within a 10 mile radius, but initially working with my family, and then married, I did not socialise that much - certainly not alone. In 19 years of marriage not once did I go out on my own for a night out, partly due to the fact that much of the time I worked night shifts, but also because family life was what was most important to me.
Since my divorce, apart from a few years when my daughter lived with me, I have lived alone - so that is for the past 15 years - and it has never bothered me. I am very independent, and, I think, very capable of managing alone, and do not feel any need to have other people around me. I would like to see my daughter more often (she is in t he UK and I am currently in Peru!), but thanks to social media we can easily keep in touch, and can chat using Skype if we feel the need. On the whole, though, I do not feel any driving need for social interaction, and, in fact, will actively try and avoid social contact on occasion. If I was not under lockdown conditions right now I would probably not do things very differently - I would go for rides on my bike, and longer walks along the seafront, but I would still be practising social distancing, and keeping myself to myself!

Choosing a Career - Part 6. The endgame!

A few months into my time in the Supermarket bakery, and still the lowest ranked baker (all the "workers" were grade D, but wage increments were based on time served, so I was still the lowest ranked and paid) we arrived one week to find that our department manager had been sent on a project (trialling part-baked bread), his assistant was absent sick (long-term), and the Senior Baker also went absent sick, leaving us with no-one in charge. The other younger bakers seemed reluctant to step up, so I did, and basically ran the bakery for the next 4 months! I was first in, and many times last out, did all the ordering, all the production planning, and all the staff scheduling, which was a nightmare as we were three men down, and at times more due to holidays and sickness! Every week I submitted the time sheets which always had a big overtime element for me, and no-one higher up ever queried it! The overtime sheets were supposed to be signed and approved by a manager, but I was doing it myself, and not once did anyone question this! The "fresh food" manager, whose responsibilities covered the bakery (as well as produce, deli, fish and meat) avoided coming anywhere near the bakery, as he "felt we were doing OK"! During this time my wife's sister was getting married in Dubai, and I couldn't go as I had to stay and run the bakery! Understandably tensions ran high at home, but I felt I had no option, and the extra money was very, very welcome - I was sometimes working a 70 hour week instead of the normal 35, with the extra at overtime rates! The situation only improved after a Store Manager "swap" - our manager and another did an exchange for a couple of weeks, and the "new" manager asked me about our staffing schedule - as he could see we were really short - and asked me about my role as he could clearly see that I was struggling. When I explained I was the most junior baker he was appalled that I had been left like that to run the department with no help from above - and two days later he arranged a relief bakery manager relieving me of my unwanted responsibilities! Shortly after that the others returned from their various illnesses and things got back to some sort of normality.
A few months later, however, I hurt my lower back while at work - I was emptying dough out of a mixing bowl, following correct work procedures, when I felt a sharp pain near my right hip. I continued working, but was in considerable pain, so next day off (we worked 5 days out of 7) went to see my GP who told me I had pulled a muscle and best thing was to work through it, but to be careful. However over the next week or so it got gradually worse, so much so that I could not stand still on my right leg, and it used to take me several minutes to climb the stairs to the canteen, so eventually I had no option but to initially sign myself off work, since my GP still seemed unwilling to. It turned out that I had damaged my sacroiliac joint, and by continuing to work had caused further damage, so much so that it was decided that I could no longer work in the bakery doing physical work. This took several weeks to play out, and by then I was back at work but doing like duties in the personnel department, mainly performing filing. When it was realised I could no longer be a baker I was moved to the general office, doing administrative work, including answering the phone, and escorting the cash collections from the checkouts.
I was then asked if I would like to join the newly created stock control team - our job was basically to investigate gaps on shelves once the night shift (no 24 hour trading at our store) had finished replenishment. The stocking system was semi-automatic in that all sales were instantly taken off system inventory, and using algorithms the system automatically re-ordered stock for arrival the following day - so in theory there should never be any empty shelves, and it was our job to find out why there were. There were other factors I will not go into here, but human error was often to blame!
The work was OK, and the working hours reasonable - early starts and early finishes every day helped the situation at home, as I was able to be home by the time my daughter finished school. The pay wasn't that good, but at the time my wife was bringing home more than me so we were OK financially, but both needed to work full-time. I was still keeping an eye on jobs in the area and spotted a vacancy for an Accounts Clerk with a local charity, very close to our home, so I applied and was invited for interview. They were relocating their Regional Administrative offices to Norfolk, and none of the existing staff (other than the Manager) were making the move, so I joined a brand new team a few weeks later.
We were located next door to an Activity Centre owned by the charity, and as accounts clerk I had quite a lot of daily contact with the centre, and we were included on a rota to welcome guests on a Friday night for the weekend stays. It was nice to get back into accounting, and to learn how to use a basic computerised accountancy suite, though I was little more than a bookkeeper/data entry clerk as one of the trustees dealt with the accounts proper. 
During this period my wife had to give up work on medical grounds, and was unable to take on employment for some time, and was medically retired from her current job. This put enormous strain on our finances, and on our relationship, as I was not earning enough alone to support us fully. While on my first vacation, after a year, it was decided that I needed to try and find much better paid work, easier said than done, but upon my return I found out that the Activity Centre Manager's position had unexpectedly become vacant - the person who was supposed to take over the role had issues with his reference, so they were re-advertising. Having seen much of what the job entailed, and knowing the salary and benefits (free housing was one!), my first reaction was to talk to my wife about it, and her family were round that evening so we had a discussion, and it was decided that this could be a really great solution - the salary was much better, the free housing meant we could rent our house out to pay off the mortgage, and my wife would not need to worry about finding work, or she could do whatever she felt able to without any pressure.
The next day, after checking with my boss, and he with the charity's area commissioner, I threw my hat in the ring! They had to go through with a rigorous selection and interview process, culminating in an overnight stay at the property with spouses/partners and two interviews, and I was awarded the position! It was like our prayers had been answered.
Over the next few months I trained as an instructor in Archery, Kayaking, Canoeing, Climbing and Abseiling (Artificial Tower), as well as training staff - the assistant left the same time as the previous manager, and we employed GAP students who we trained as Summer instructors - and working on many areas of the "business" that desperately needed improving. I was finally doing something I really enjoyed, and I felt that I had found my "place" in life, and I really seemed to be good at it!
The supplied accommodation was going to be improved and extended so my wife decided at first to stay in our own home until it was complete, though that was going to take several months, but then she dropped a bombshell saying she had no intention of ever moving, and that I should move back home! My job required me to live on site, so moving back was not an option, and long-term we couldn't afford to run two homes - it depended on us both living in the free housing and renting our own house, but she would not have any of that. From elation about how things had turned out to despair in the space of a few minutes - but I was not about to give up the job of a lifetime, so felt I had no alternative other than to petition for a divorce. Seems a bit harsh choosing my new career over my marriage, but I knew that if I gave up that job I would struggle to find anything paying nearly so good, that I would regret it for the rest of my life, and we would probably lose our home anyway, and with it our marriage, so it was really a no-brainer! I threw myself into my work, and as it was showing positive results I was really enjoying it - it hardly felt like work. I mean what job entails spending time out on the river in a kayak "playing" with a bunch of kids - and getting paid for it!
It turned out that this was my last career move, and I spent the next 8 years there, until one day they decided to have an operational review, which included reviewing all the jobs. Their decision was that the manager needed a formal business qualification, so after doing a great job for 8 years, in their opinion too, I was no longer qualified to do it anymore, so I took redundancy! It also turned out to be my last paid employment (other than a couple of temporary contract jobs) so I moved to Brazil, and have only done a little unpaid voluntary work (here and in Peru) since then. I do feel that managing an activity centre (with 44 beds, camping ground for 600, and a variety of outdoor activities) was my idea of a perfect job, and am so pleased that I managed to find it eventually!

Choosing a career - Part 5

My foray into Engineering had been short-lived, but enjoyable, but here I was back full circle to the bakery I had created, but now working for someone else. Unfortunately a succession of highly paid "managers" had almost destroyed the business we had created, allied to the owner's lack of knowledge how to run a village grocery store. He had learnt nothing form what we had tried to pass on, and grocery sales were much lower as his pricing policy was foolish, to say the least. He had still not grasped the concept that we had to try and compete on some level with the local (5 miles away) supermarket, at least with KVI products ("known value items" or everyday purchases), and the Cash & Carry we used allowed us to do that, but at very reduced margins on those items, and he was unwilling to accept those poor margins (ignoring the fact that we made more on other products).
The quality of the bread had declined alarmingly, too, so correcting that was my first priority, and relatively easy to do, however in order to afford to pay a bakery manager, something we still felt was the job he should be doing himself, he had branched out a great deal into the wholesale trade, but was giving away most of the profit by doing this, and it meant he also had to employ a delivery driver and buy a small delivery van, further affecting his "bottom line"!
I lasted over 2 years in this role, though throughout that time my "assistant bakers" were inexperienced and unqualified, but were there more for "muscle" than skill so it was not too bad. The problem was that it was a 6-day a week job, and the owner was reluctant to allow me any time off for holidays, as he had no one capable of running things in my absence, but offered me payment ("cash in hand" or tax-free, which I declined) in lieu of holiday. The only time off I got in those 2 years was a week I took in order to replace my back door at home, when he stood in to do the work at the bakery.
Eventually, though, I had had enough. If I complained about the hours (which were around 60 a week!) he threw more money at me, if I asked for holiday time with my family, he offered me more money to forego it, and was continually telling me that he had big plans for the business and that I would soon be in a more senior daytime role. When I told him I wanted to leave his response was - offer me more money - but I knew that the business could not afford what he was offering me (far more than any of my family had received as a partnership share before, when the business was taking more money!), but he then tried emotional blackmail, saying that if I left he would probably lose the business, and his young family (second wife) would suffer! It was all to no avail as my marriage was suffering with the time I was putting in, all night shifts, and arriving home around 06.00 - or later if the delivery driver was a no-show so we had to deliver as well!
I stayed in the bakery industry, initially at new supermarket locally, but that was short-lived due to differences of opinion with the store management - my department was never fully staffed from day one, and I was having to pick up the slack so working excessive hours, and every week I was being questioned about the hours I was putting in, and then being told they would recruit more staff, only for them to go back on that later the same week, and then complain again I that I was putting in too many hours!. There followed a period of time when I worked for three different small craft bakeries in fairly close succession, though I use the word "craft" broadly as most of them were not producing a "craft" product, but again chasing turnover. None of the owner/managers had a real clue how to treat staff, or how to make bread (one was even the former bakery manager who had almost ruined the business my family had created), and again excessive hours was the order of the day, though since none of them had given us contracts of employment (a legal requirement they ignored) we had no right to overtime payments, and no right of recourse. At all three my excellent reputation had preceded me and they were all delighted to have me join them, but unfortunately the way they treated staff was appalling, and none of them had the skills necessary to run a business.
During this time I was also looking to move on, though without the necessary paper qualifications it was extremely difficult, and eventually I ended up back in the Supermarket world, this time with one of the market leaders in their in-store bakery. By now (it was the same group I had been with back in 1982) their bread was somewhat better, though still not "craft" quality, but their systems were streamlined, they treated staff reasonably well, and I had no real responsibility so was happy as one of the bakers - the oldest by some way, but the most junior as the newest arrival. I had by now almost given up on being able to find my ideal career, but also knew that I had not nearly reached my potential.