Tuesday, 18 February 2020

Choosing a career - Part 5

My foray into Engineering had been short-lived, but enjoyable, but here I was back full circle to the bakery I had created, but now working for someone else. Unfortunately a succession of highly paid "managers" had almost destroyed the business we had created, allied to the owner's lack of knowledge how to run a village grocery store. He had learnt nothing form what we had tried to pass on, and grocery sales were much lower as his pricing policy was foolish, to say the least. He had still not grasped the concept that we had to try and compete on some level with the local (5 miles away) supermarket, at least with KVI products ("known value items" or everyday purchases), and the Cash & Carry we used allowed us to do that, but at very reduced margins on those items, and he was unwilling to accept those poor margins (ignoring the fact that we made more on other products).
The quality of the bread had declined alarmingly, too, so correcting that was my first priority, and relatively easy to do, however in order to afford to pay a bakery manager, something we still felt was the job he should be doing himself, he had branched out a great deal into the wholesale trade, but was giving away most of the profit by doing this, and it meant he also had to employ a delivery driver and buy a small delivery van, further affecting his "bottom line"!
I lasted over 2 years in this role, though throughout that time my "assistant bakers" were inexperienced and unqualified, but were there more for "muscle" than skill so it was not too bad. The problem was that it was a 6-day a week job, and the owner was reluctant to allow me any time off for holidays, as he had no one capable of running things in my absence, but offered me payment ("cash in hand" or tax-free, which I declined) in lieu of holiday. The only time off I got in those 2 years was a week I took in order to replace my back door at home, when he stood in to do the work at the bakery.
Eventually, though, I had had enough. If I complained about the hours (which were around 60 a week!) he threw more money at me, if I asked for holiday time with my family, he offered me more money to forego it, and was continually telling me that he had big plans for the business and that I would soon be in a more senior daytime role. When I told him I wanted to leave his response was - offer me more money - but I knew that the business could not afford what he was offering me (far more than any of my family had received as a partnership share before, when the business was taking more money!), but he then tried emotional blackmail, saying that if I left he would probably lose the business, and his young family (second wife) would suffer! It was all to no avail as my marriage was suffering with the time I was putting in, all night shifts, and arriving home around 06.00 - or later if the delivery driver was a no-show so we had to deliver as well!
I stayed in the bakery industry, initially at new supermarket locally, but that was short-lived due to differences of opinion with the store management - my department was never fully staffed from day one, and I was having to pick up the slack so working excessive hours, and every week I was being questioned about the hours I was putting in, and then being told they would recruit more staff, only for them to go back on that later the same week, and then complain again I that I was putting in too many hours!. There followed a period of time when I worked for three different small craft bakeries in fairly close succession, though I use the word "craft" broadly as most of them were not producing a "craft" product, but again chasing turnover. None of the owner/managers had a real clue how to treat staff, or how to make bread (one was even the former bakery manager who had almost ruined the business my family had created), and again excessive hours was the order of the day, though since none of them had given us contracts of employment (a legal requirement they ignored) we had no right to overtime payments, and no right of recourse. At all three my excellent reputation had preceded me and they were all delighted to have me join them, but unfortunately the way they treated staff was appalling, and none of them had the skills necessary to run a business.
During this time I was also looking to move on, though without the necessary paper qualifications it was extremely difficult, and eventually I ended up back in the Supermarket world, this time with one of the market leaders in their in-store bakery. By now (it was the same group I had been with back in 1982) their bread was somewhat better, though still not "craft" quality, but their systems were streamlined, they treated staff reasonably well, and I had no real responsibility so was happy as one of the bakers - the oldest by some way, but the most junior as the newest arrival. I had by now almost given up on being able to find my ideal career, but also knew that I had not nearly reached my potential.

Sunday, 9 February 2020

Choosing a career - Part 4

I was around 33 at this time and undecided what to do when I finished at the bakery, so I popped in to a Careers Advice Centre near where my parents now lived - they also had jobs advertised as part of the Jobcentre network. The advisor there suggested I try their aptitude test, which only took a few minutes, and while waiting for the system to spit out some results they mentioned to me that they were trialling a new psychometric test which took half a day!! The next was on Saturday (it was Tuesday) in a different town, but there were vacancies - normally this test would cost about £50 but was free to the invitees for the trial.
There were around 20 of us there and we were told there would be about 12 different tests, lasting different lengths of time - we would be told when to start and when to stop, but not how long we had for each test! The tests were varied, from mental arithmetic, general knowledge, spatial awareness, and even manual dexterity - and the times allowed seemed very short! We did 6 tests then had a break for refreshments, and I found that, like me, the attendees were struggling to complete the tests in the time allowed - that was a relief as I was beginning to think I was thick! When we had finished the organiser explained that not being able to finish each test was part of the test!! It was supposed to put us under stress to see how we handled that - and when he found out that I had actually completed 4 of the 12 tests he was amazed, as no-one had achieved even one before!
While waiting for the results, which would take a couple of weeks, I started working for an Engineering company - a friend worked there and told me they were recruiting short-term workers, and I ended up in the machine shop, working on a power guillotine alongside a 64-year old about to retire! We had to chop up steel following simple drawings, and the work was physically hard, but relatively easy, the pay was OK, and weekend overtime usually available, as well as a productivity bonus! We were initially employed on 13-week contracts, then laid off during a "shut-down" and immediately re-hired for a further 13 weeks (most of us were contracted to do overtime during the shut-down, too!). The government of the day had introduced a job creation scheme where they paid part of the wages of any "new" employees hired for at least 13 weeks, so many companies realised that if they hired and fired at 13 week intervals then they would get a big chunk of the payroll paid for by the state!
I received the results of my psychometric test and had an appointment at another different Jobcentre! My results were excellent, among the best they had seen, and my aptitude demonstrated that I could pretty much choose any career I wanted, and this included professions like legal, medical, etc. However - and there is always a "however" -  entry into these professions was almost impossible past 30, since the years of study and training required meant that many companies would not invest in "older" candidates (I would have required sponsorship from a firm to attend university) since the "pay-back" time after qualification was limited. It left me with very few options at my age to think about starting a new career track, and opportunities in Norfolk limited them further.
By now I had been offered a permanent job at the engineering company, and they were talking about multi-skilling all the workforce, so we would be moving round the machines (there were power presses, punching machines and sheet metal fabricators), and learning new skills like welding, so I put any career aspirations outside this on hold. My first child was also on the way so I needed a regular, steady income, and with occasional stretches on night shift (with enhanced pay rates) and weekend overtime when I wanted, I decided to maintain the status quo.
My colleague retired and I "inherited" his machine with my own assistant, but I was waiting for the multi-skilling opportunity that everyone else, except me, seemed to be getting. Eventually I asked my foreman about it, and he was genuinely shocked - I was the youngest worker with his "own" machine, and he thought I was happy - though rather it was that he was happy knowing he didn't have to worry about output from that machine! They did, however start training me on other equipment, but I never got round to the welding!
The work was hardly high-quality "engineering" as tolerances were pretty generous, but it did give me an insight into a different world of working practices, and in attitudes by the workforce - at breaks (tea break, lunch) and start of day the men would all stand around, even after the "hooter" had gone and wait for the foreman to come and say "All right, lads" before starting, and if he was late (at a meeting, or just elsewhere on the site) we would all still wait until we got the "nod" to start again! "It's his job", they would tell me if I asked why.
My daughter was born just after I got my permanent status and the regular reasonable income, especially on night shifts, though not brilliant, meant I was in no particular hurry to move on, especially as my wife was not yet working again. The company had factories at two locations locally (as well as one in Holland), the other some 30 miles away, and a change in management meant we embarked on a "customer service" training course, to be held at both factories and with some workers from each travelling to the other site for sessions. They were stressing that we were all customers, as well as the final purchasers of the trailers - and that each department was a customer of the preceding one along the production line, so we had to work together, rather than try and compete (and make life difficult for the others!). At the end of the training session we all had a "meet and greet" with a senior company employee, and we got the Financial Accountant, who then opened up a question and answer session. I asked why they didn't give the staff more information about how things were going for the company, as the notice boards were devoid of any company information - his response was that they "didn't think we were interested"! He then went on to tell us the company was doing reasonably well at the moment, with full order books, but that we shouldn't get complacent as it was a very competitive industry.
The next day I started a two week holiday in Kenya (where my in-laws lived), during one of the regular shut-downs, and returned to find that they had just laid off a third of the workforce as business was bad! I was appalled that the Accountant had stood in front of us and lied about the situation - as I couldn't believe that he was unaware things were that bad, but either way the signs were not good for the business. I decided that maybe the time had come to move on, before I was forced out into a very limited job market locally. For some time the man who had bought our grocery shop/bakery had been pestering me to go back and help save his bakery business which was being ruined by highly paid "managers", and I had been rejecting his advances, but a few days later he contacted me again, and offered me a lot more than I was earning in engineering to go back, so I decided to jump ship and change career path again.

Thursday, 9 January 2020

Choosing a career - Part 3

My parents had returned to the UK in 1977, the year before I did, and my Dad said he was "semi-retired" at 51. They bought a small village grocery store in Norfolk, and my sister joined them, and they kept on a lady who had worked for the previous owners for many years so knew the ropes, and all the local customers! I don't think any of them imagined how hard running a village shop was, but everyone seemed to enjoy it - this was in the days before Sunday trading was prevalent, so it was only a 6-day a week job, though they all git an extra day off in the week (but Dad generally worked through most of his!).
The plan was that upon my return I would help out, while looking for a job in accountancy, though I soon realised that they really needed my help - Dad was the only driver back then, so had to do the weekly "cash and carry" runs on Monday, as well as the twice-weekly runs to the bank. The business was growing apace, mainly due to the fact that we were novices, so had no preconceptions, and provided the sort of service that we would have expected as customers - and it paid dividends! With 4 "partners" the business still was not really generating enough profit for all of us (Mum, Dad, my sister and me), despite the fact that we all lived in the attached house above/behind the shop. 
I started putting out feelers, and had a few interviews, but soon realised a huge problem that I had not foreseen - in the UK manual accounts was a thing of the past, and my lack of computerised accounting experience was a huge issue! Time and again my lack of knowledge in that field was the stumbling block, and even though I was pitching for jobs well below my experience in other areas, I was being turned down - even for "starter" jobs, as I was "too old" - at 25!
The shop was actually a double-fronted one (it was a converted semi-detached house) and the other half we rented out to a hairdresser, and when she decided move on we looked for ways we could utilise that second shop to our advantage. Initially Dad was keen on a mini garden centre - he always had green fingers - but one of our grocery supply reps suggested a bakery! There was a national bread strike on at the time, and he serviced a couple of small bakeries and said they were doing extremely well. We all fell about laughing as we had no baking history in the family, but the idea caught on - it would complement the grocery business, and also provide a draw to a new customer base. I was tasked with doing some research - a feasibility study, if you like! Eventually I found a local bakery where they would "teach" me the ropes and after only two nights decided that we could make a success of it! To cut a long story short here is the link to that Opening a bakery which we opened in 1979, and traded very successfully alongside the grocery business, increasing shop turnover by an additional pound for every pound value of bread we sold as customers came for bakery goods, and bought other things in the shop!
My change in career direction from aspiring accountant to baker had been seamless, I really enjoyed baking - it was very satisfying to create something from raw materials rather than just being a small cog somewhere along a process! I did leave the family business briefly (for around 6 months) in 1982 for personal reasons, and got a job with a large UK supermarket chain as a trainee bakery manager - they used small-scale industrial processes, with machines doing most of the "manual" work, and with chemical additives to speed up the processing time, resulting in, at that time, a product that could not really be called "bread"! However I did return to the family business, and started developing the bakery side further, increasing our  confectionery range.
In 1986 Dad decided to retire - he had turned 60 and discovered that he was no longer liable for capital gains tax on the sale of the business - and we (my sister and I) realised that we could not realistically keep the business going with just the two of us, if we lost half our labour force, as the cost of replacing both our parents' work contributions would be unsustainable, especially as they needed to withdraw capital also (so effectively we would have had to buy them out!) to buy a house to retire to. So the business was put up for sale. It did not take that long to find a buyer, either, and as part of the deal I agreed to stay on for up to 6 months to help with the transition (as he also had no prior grocery or bakery experience!)
Despite trying to convince the new owner that he, or a family member, should be the main baker - the most "expensive" job - he immediately started looking to employ a bakery manager (after offering it to me first!), who was being paid more than a partner's share had been under our ownership! He made quite a few more changes to the way the grocery business was run, too, most of which had a detrimental effect on customers, as prices started rising considerably. By the end of my 6 month "transition" I was pleased to be moving on, and embarked on another change of career - this time into engineering!!

Choosing a career - Part 2

That first year of accountancy in Beira, Mozambique, was awesome - the work was interesting (I know that accountancy has a reputation for being boring, but not to those who work in that field!), and I got to visit some amazing places as part of the job. We used to fly to clients in distant parts of the country, all expenses paid, including an "out of town" allowance (which paid for drinks!!), though we had to work long hours - often finishing after 22.00, returning to work after our dinner - to minimise the amount of time we were away, and always flying back home for the weekends.
At the end of that year I managed to get a transfer to our Johannesburg, South Africa, office. Independence was looming in Mozambique and an uncertain future, so I requested a transfer and set off on a new adventure. Johannesburg was, however, for an "outsider" a nightmare place to live. I knew no-one, and though the work was still interesting, I felt incredibly lonely - more so than I have ever felt in my life, before or since. Our firm was taken over by a larger firm of accountants, and we all were feeling a bit lost in the new organisation. Some of our senior staff members were "demoted" to semi-senior (each team consisted of a senior (a qualified accountant), a semi-senior (often time served but not yet qualified), and a junior (still in articles), but the team I was allocated was headed by an office manager (our senior, who only occasionally came on the audits), Vincent, who was time served and waiting to take his final exams, and me. It meant that Vincent and I were often the only two at the client's premises, so Vincent was doing the "senior" role, and I was doing a combination of "junior" and "semi-senior", despite my relatively novice status in terms of time served. I was more than up to the task, and was treated almost like an equal, even when Bill, our team leader, did turn up! It did mean that I was learning far more quickly than my peers, and proving my abilities.
I still hated living in Johannesburg, though, and towards the end of that year put in for a transfer to our offices in Durban. I had spent my university years in Pietermaritzburg, some 45 miles from Durban, and still had many friends there, so felt that the move would be good for me. Two days after my request was submitted, Bill - my team leader and one of the office managers - called me in and told me he had denied the request - he felt that I had so much potential that Johannesburg was a better place for me, than a "provincial" city like Durban. I was extremely flattered, especially as Bill was dry-humoured Scotsman not given to lavishing praise on anyone, but I explained that I was unhappy living in Johannesburg, and that I just felt I could not remain there, so would probably leave anyway. The following day my transfer was approved, thanks to Bill, but he stressed that I was always welcome back on his team in Jo'burg!!
There followed two and a half wonderful years in Durban. I continued to progress ahead of my peers, helped in no small part by the fact that I was always willing to take on travelling audits, even from other sections, something many of the young auditors in Durban were unwilling to undertake. Working in an unfamiliar team worked in my favour, too, as they treated me as a more senior member than my "time served", and I always stepped up to the plate and out-performed my peers.
My progress with the university qualification was slow-going - distance learning was not as easy as attending the local university, but was a lot cheaper, though still a strain on my articled salary. I arrived in Durban earning more than similar time served colleagues (and more than the "recommended" salary suggested by the Accountancy Board), and my pay had been frozen for 18 months, so 12 months after arriving in Durban I spoke to the staff partner about cancelling my articles, and giving up aspirations of qualifying as a Chartered Accountant, as the financial cost at that stage was too much for me. I was offered a 2 year interest-free loan, but would have been in the same position the following year, with new fees due, and still a year left on this year's loan! I  intended to swap to a Chartered Secretary qualification (more of a Bookkeeping qualification, but still a serious accountancy qualification - and the one held by my team leader/office manager in Durban), and eventually they agreed to this, and rewarded me with a very substantial pay rise! As I was now out of Articles my pay grade and promotion within the firm was no longer limited by the Accountancy Board rules, and I soon was leading some small audits of my own, and being relied on very heavily by my direct manager - I was always prepared to put myself out, and test my limits, and he appreciated not having to "supervise" me any more.
At the end of 1977 it had been three years since I had seen my family, who had now returned to the UK, and keeping in touch not nearly so easy as now. Mail took around 3 weeks, so urgent communications were either by Telex or Telegram, as phone calls were very expensive, and not that reliable. I was considering a holiday in 1978 to see them, but the cost was a major stumbling block, so I was also wondering whether a permanent move back to the UK might be advisable, continuing my accountancy career there. South Africa was also by then heading towards independence and a somewhat uncertain future for "whites", especially foreigners, so it was possibly a good time to consider a move. I was in a quandary - if I went for a holiday and liked it the cost of returning to Durban, packing up, and then relocating to the UK was prohibitive, so in the end I decided to make the move when my holiday was due, and so in May 1978, I left Durban, and Africa, and my burgeoning career, and returned to the UK.

Friday, 3 January 2020

Choosing a career - Part 1

Choosing your future career is a really big deal - it could be the job you are going to be doing for the next 40 years or so, so is not something to take on lightly. I know that it is always possible to change your mind, and your career path, at any stage in your life, but since some careers require years of study and then specialised training (medicine, law, etc.) making the right choice as early as possible is quite important.
When I was young I wanted to be a vet - I have always loved animals, and felt that working with them would be great, but the realisation that sometimes you might have to euthanize them, or deal with horrific injuries, something I didn't think I could cope with emotionally, changed my mind. I considered marine biology, something I am still very interested in, but I have a fair skin that burns very easily (and very badly!) and decided that an outdoor water-based career was probably not a good idea. That was about as far as my career plans went until I was in my mid-teens.
At school we studied a variety of subjects until "O" (ordinary) level, and then switched to just 3 subjects for "A" (advanced) level, and generally these three were subjects required for the degree we planned to study at university, and this degree was going to be the foundation of our career path, so by "O" level we were supposed to have a good idea of what we wanted to do. I had no idea at all by then! A year before "O" level we were interviewed by a Careers Master who talked through our options, but for a few of us, like me, we sat an aptitude test to help with our career decision.
This test consisted of about 100 multiple choice questions, with things like: What would you rather do? 1. Cook a meal, 2. Read a book, 3. Play sport, and we had to stick a pin through the box next to our selected answer. Turning over the paper at the end (the Careers Master did this) the pinholes had made a pattern on the back, they actually corresponded to points on a graph, and this was supposed to indicate where our strengths lay. Mine was pretty much a flat line! This meant I showed no particular tendencies, preferences or strengths, and was of no help whatsoever! I was told, however, that this was no problem and that we could revisit it a year later on completion of "O" level.
I loved languages, and had an aptitude for maths, but my shyness made me disregard a teaching career, and I could not really see many options open to me. My father was an accountant, so I was gravitating towards that, following in his footsteps, but with no particular enthusiasm at that stage, though by the time I re-sat the aptitude test - a different one - my responses were slightly more focused and indicated that a career in accountancy might be a good choice! English and Maths were pretty much pre-requisites for a degree leading to an accountancy qualification, so that was easy, but selecting the third "A" level subject was proving difficult. I wanted to do French, but it was what they called a "subject block" meaning that, due to insufficient teachers at our relatively small school, French and Maths could not be taken together (at least the year I, and two others, wanted to do them!) - and my other options were limited to History and Geography! I had not taken either subject up to "O" level, and neither held much interest for me, but I chose History, though swapped to Geography after one term as I was struggling and not enjoying History, though didn't fare much better with Geography either!
The first year (of 3) at University studying for a Bachelor of Commerce degree - with a BComm you still had to do 3 years "articles" with a firm of chartered accountants before sitting your board exam - was tough. Subjects like Accountancy, Economics and Business Law were new to all of us (Maths and English made up the other two), and at first might as well have been Chinese. I was really struggling, especially with Law, and at the end of the first year was not doing well, and decided to change track the following year to a Bachelor of Arts with a view to teaching Modern Languages.
Subjects for year 2 were English, French, German (never done it before!) and Psychology (again new to me!), with Maths thrown in as my 5th! I was not totally sold on the idea of teaching, but basically had chosen subjects I felt I could do well in, and then looked at careers' options using those! It was not a good basis for a degree path, and I did not, to my sham, try very hard that year either. I have always had an aptitude for languages and my German professor could not believe I had no prior knowledge, as I picked up the basics very easily, but Psychology was another mystery to me - I prefer right or wrong answers rather than different interpretations!
At the end of year two I dropped out of University and decided to join a firm of Chartered Accountants, going the longer route to qualification - 5 years articles while doing a degree through distance learning (UNISA - University of South Africa), and I wished I had considered this before, because actually working with real life accounts it all made sense rather than the theoretical work in a classroom! I started work in Beira, Mozambique, for the firm that used to audit the company my father worked for, and soon discovered that I had a real aptitude for the work, despite the fact that I was having to speak Portuguese (my second language that I have been speaking since I was 7!) and learn the terminology in a foreign tongue!

Wednesday, 18 December 2019

Registering a house in Brazil

I posted some time ago about my house hunting in Brazil (House hunting in Brazil) and my paranoia about getting legal title when most properties did not appear to have any. I have a friend who bought a piece of land (two adjacent plots) 10 years ago with the intention of building a house, which would also serve as a language school, as at the time she was renting and not making enough to finance the construction as well.
To cut a long story short she was away for 6 years trying to raise enough money teaching in Europe to finish the construction - having only completed the foundations and the ground floor walls, no roof, before she left. Due to a change in circumstances she is now planning to sell the property, but like most here does not have title deeds (escritura), though she does have a legal document, which is a "Promesa de compra e venda" - Promise of sale and purchase. These are drawn up before final registration, and are legally binding between the two parties - the seller promises to transfer ownership of the property when the buyer finishes paying for it. Often land purchases are made in instalments, not necessarily with a legal mortgage but simply (ir)regular payments made by the buyer to the seller, so this document means the buyer retains title until payment is made in full, but guarantees that he transfers title upon completion! The process could take years.
The problem my friend is having is that this "promise" was made 10 years ago, and while still legally binding - and she paid in full at the time! - the land where she is was never zoned for residential building, and still, apparently, has not been formally scheduled as such by the local authorities. She went to the local land registry and was told that they cannot register her title, but that she could sell on the land - with another "promise" document, and the original vendor would still be liable to register the title in the new buyer's name, when and if registration become possible. It turns out that she, too, did not buy from the original seller (who was himself a lawyer!), but from the person he sold the plot to originally!
People here have an in-built distrust of the legal profession, so much of the legal processes are done at a "cartorio" (registry office), rather than using solicitors. When someone passes away often they die intestate (no will) so there is then a battle between the heirs - large families so could be several sons/daughters and even ex-wives/partners - and they will all try and lay claim to any land, often selling off plots rapidly to raise money. Two or three children sometimes sell the same plot, leaving future problems for the buyers, or the oldest child (or a brother/spouse/etc.) may come along later and claim that they were the real heir! All of these could be avoided by using solicitors, having a will, and so on - but without this "protection" it makes for years of litigation!
The land is officially in an Environmental Protection Area, so should never be zoned for residential, but there are around 100 houses in the area, most, if not all, without proper legal title - and some are large multi-bedroomed guest houses. Others are paying local council taxes, and have electric and water supplies, but IBAMA (Brazil's environment agency) is not happy that the council are allowing this construction to occur, and may, if they get government backing, take action against the "land" owners, though they have been trying for years. It is more than likely that they will have to back down and allow the council to zone it as residential, and then permit registration of title, but this could still take some years.
Everyone goes along believing that the system will eventually prevail and they are safe buying property on these "promises", and that they can register proper title at some later, unspecified date, which is something that I could never do!

Sunday, 15 December 2019

Having a house-guest stay with you!

I have lived alone now for at least 15 years - my choice - and really enjoy the freedom it allows me. I can eat when I want, go to bed when I want (I am now retired), wander round the house in as little clothing as I want (not overlooked!!), and basically do exactly what I want, when I want! The past 10 years I have had someone stay here before 3 times - the first was my daughter and husband-to-be, visiting Brazil for the first time, and we only came to my house after doing some travelling round Brazil (Pantanal, Iguazu waterfall, etc.) and had shared accommodation in some places along the way, and they were only here for two or three days before having to return to the UK. The second was a friend who was leaving Brazil for 2 years, intending to return, and who left a lot of her belongings in my house - that was only for one night before I took her to the bus station to start her journey back to Europe. The third was my second cousin (daughter of my cousin), who I had not met before, but she was travelling the world and stayed a couple of nights. All 3 of these were uneventful, and quite enjoyable.
The friend who left the belongings is back - 6 years after she left - to sort her affairs out for a final time. We have known each other for over 10 years, and are good friends - she used to have permanent residence (though lost it because she was out of the country too long for medical reasons), and we had discussed ways she could help me get mine, even the suggestion of a "marriage of convenience", which we were seriously considering once she came back (within the 2 year limit, so that option is no longer available), so we are really good friends.
If I go and stay with anyone I follow their rules, or at least their routine - so if breakfast is at 07.00, then I am up at 06.50, unless they are happy for me to make my own (though personally I would not want to upset their routine), lunch at 12.30, then I am there helping, and dinner at 19.00, likewise. It is the third day, and there is a week to go, and my friend has been appearing after 08.30 (currently 09.00 and no sign of her!), and eventually eating breakfast around 09.30, so is not hungry by my lunchtime, and has been going out to meet other friends here she hasn't seen for years (and prospective property purchasers) in the evening, so out when I have my dinner. The last two nights she has returned after midnight, too! She told me yesterday she preferred a large meal at lunchtime as I eat too early, so she would be hungry again by midnight!
The reason she has been away so long is for her health, and she is suffering in the heat here after Europe, so prefers to do anything in the evening, not the heat of the day, but spends the day either sorting through the things she left here, or "resting" because of her health! But most of the time it is complaining about the heat, or how she cannot do the things she used to take for granted, or about how difficult it is proving to sell her property - people only want half the land, or to finance the purchase (paying her directly in instalments, not through a mortgage).
One way I could get permanent residence here is through marriage, but the past few days have taught me that after 15 years alone (not lonely, I hasten to add) I do not want to share my living space with anyone else, and am counting down the days till I get my "castle" back to myself!