I had previously posted about a friendship I had with a young man here in Brazil - Crossing the line, and Friends like these - who used to look after my house for me when I was away in Peru. I have known him for almost 9 years now, and considered him a friend, but he destroyed our trust and friendship last year, which I posted about earlier.
After the last episode, when he brought the hoodie and other things back, still promising to repay everything, I hardly saw him again before leaving for Peru in March 2018. He did come round a short while before I left and was surprised when I wouldn't allow him to come into my house. I told him I only allowed friends in and he had thrown that away by his actions. He told me he still wanted to be friends as he "needed" me as a friend, but I responded that I didn't think I needed him as my friend! He had made no effort to repay for any of the damage he had caused, and had not even bothered to come round to see if he could do some odd jobs around my garden to cover some of it - yet he was still unemployed, so had time on his hands.
He messaged me (via Facebook) only once in the 6 months I was away, with just a simple "How are you?" message, to which I replied rather coolly. I have now been back for over 3 weeks, and received another message, just saying "Hi!" again, and then followed with another simply saying "I regret breaking your door, and messing with your things"!
"Messing with your things"! Is that what he thinks he did? I replied rather angrily that if he thought that breaking two doors (not one), stealing money, "borrowing" clothes, breaking items, stealing items to sell, drinking my booze, and using stored foodstuffs (that would have still been "in date" on my return) was just "messing with" my things, then he still had a lot to learn! He had destroyed any trust I had in him, and then lying to me continually about what had happened, and what he had taken, broken or "borrowed", had finally also killed our friendship.
I bear him no ill will, and I realise that it is extremely unlikely that I will see a penny of the cost of the damages returned, but until he fully takes responsibility for his actions, and stops blaming everything else for what he did, I cannot consider our friendship to be restored.
Circumstances made me move to Brazil in 2009, and I spent 6 months of the year there, and the remaining time in Peru, until 2020 when the Covid hit, trapping me in Peru for 14 months, before I managed to return to the UK, where I now reside permanently. I see the world through slightly rose-tinted glasses, but maybe because I have been fortunate in not suffering too many hardships along the way, and maintaining an optimistic, but realistic outlook on life.
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